


Beneath the Demons (Kylo Ren X Reader)

by Vulcanraven



Category: Star Wars
Genre: Anger, Betrayal, Character Death, Conflict, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Flashbacks, Forbidden Love, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Visions, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Internal Conflict, Jedi Training, Lightsaber Battles, Lightsabers, Love, Love/Hate, Loyalty, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Romantic Tension, Sacrifice, Self-Discovery, The Dark Side of the Force
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 03:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13262448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vulcanraven/pseuds/Vulcanraven
Summary: Alongside your newfound friend Rey, you’ve been learning the ways of the Force from a reluctant Luke Skywalker, who then sends you away on a mission to find your kyber crystal. However, your world is about to be turned upside down when a uninvited guest clad in black appears, and he has plans of his own...





	1. The Beginning of the End

**Author's Note:**

> Work in progress, will end up being pretty long. Set in post TFA, does not follow TLJ canon. TLJ spoilers!

Not far now. You were almost there. Through the midst of the raging blizzard, the crystal cave came into your eye line at long last. The majority of your facial features, which had turned various shades of crimson, felt numb due to the bleak atmosphere of planet Ilum. It was evident that even your thick snow clothing was little competition against the everlasting swarm of freezing elements. Even though doubt was creeping into your mind as you remembered that what you were seeking had long ago been thought to have been stolen by the Empire, you plodded and stumbled onwards.

As soon as you entered the cave, all was calm. The eternal blizzard, ferocious winds, all of it. You could already feel yourself defrosting momentarily. As your blood began to circulate your fingers once more, you took down your frost-covered hood and stood in awe, contemplating your surroundings. Kyber crystals! Before stepping further into the cave, you recalled Rey (your best friend) explaining how the lightsaber of Anakin Skywalker had called to her. _Perhaps it's the same with kyber crystals_ , you thought to yourself. After exploring for about 10 minutes, you decided you'd just have to pick one up. At that moment, you felt something powerful pull on your mind. _Very_ powerful. Although you were new to the Force, this was unmistakeable. The kyber crystal was beckoning you towards it, and so instinctively you followed. You arrived at the corner of the crystal cave, which to your surprise was shrouded in dark shadows. However, one solitary crystal shone at the centre of the darkness. It felt like a magnet, in which you were the paperclip. You reluctantly picked up the colourless yet bright crystal, even though this moment felt like destiny. For a moment you stared into it, almost as though you were gazing into your very soul. You were abruptly interrupted by what vaguely sounded like ship engines, yet the sound was not familiar. A sense of danger arose inside you, and without a second thought you hastily placed the kyber crystal in your satchel, which included various parts of a lightsaber.

You were about to make a swift exit from the cave but at that moment, you sensed something other than danger. Something about it mirrored yourself, yet it was different. Darker. Dismissing your previous intentions, crouching behind a cumbersome rock seemed like a better course of action. While attempting to calm your breathing, you stayed dormant and listened out for the slightest sounds. There was a pause, then suddenly you could only just make out muffled voices.

_"Commander, where do you suggest we search? How do you know where she is?"_  
_"She's here. Bring your squadron and follow me."_

The hint of fear was apparent in the first voice. But the second one... _That_ was something different altogether. It was deeper - more robotic. There was no emotion.  
_Are they talking about me?_ You questioned yourself, feeling your heart beat rapidly now. _No, how would they know who I am or why I'm even here?_ Multiple heavy footsteps were drawing nearer - you just _knew_ it - and so was that _feeling_...  
You could not fathom what it was, yet somehow you recognised it. There was only one thing that felt like this - the Force. _But that doesn't make any sense. Unless_...  
And that's when it clicked. You knew _exactly_ who it was. Luke and Rey weren't here to save you. And where were you now? Trapped. Trapped in the corner of a crystal cave. There was only one way this could end.

It wasn't hard to interpret his intentions. They didn't call him the "Jedi Killer" without purpose. The continuous footsteps were unmistakeable now, and as if out of nowhere, they stopped. The silence was torture. You squeezed your eyes shut, praying that he would not find you...

_"Here."_

You heard the fierce crackling of a lightsaber being activated, followed by slow footsteps. Mocking you... _Tormenting_ you... You both knew there was no escape.

At this point your heart was hammering and your ribcage felt like a wooden box containing a dragon. Fight or flight. Anyone with so much as half a brain would know it would be suicide to fight, which just left flight. You hurriedly glanced around for some sort of an exit, all the while desperately attempting to maintain steady breathing. The only exit was ahead of you. The same exit that was your doom's entrance.

Run.

In an instant, you bolted forward, adrenaline pulsing through your body. You sprinted as quickly as your legs would carry you. To your astonishment, you'd made it out of the crystal cave and continued to run in the direction of your ship that you had arrived in. Without any warning, you froze. Muscles tight, feet firmly planted into the thick snow. You couldn't move. A small whimper escaped from your mouth as you knew your means of escape had failed. After a few moments, a black figure loomed over you, his shadow like a dark cloud over a city. You felt yourself shrink at the very sight of him. No matter how hard you tried, your muscles refused to spring into action. The man standing before you was draped in black cloth from head to toe, with a black and silver helmet in which his face hid behind. The only thing you could do was study him, and that's when you noticed the handle of his lightsaber, which had returned to its position on the man's belt after you'd last heard it being ignited. Assuming your fate, you waited for the dark figure to reach for his weapon. However, to your surprise the lightsaber remained stationary. All that moved was the man's arm, which was now outstretched along with his hand towards your fearful face.

A sharp pain pierced into your very mind. Pain. So much _pain_. Every thought, feeling and memory flashed before you all at once. That beast was inside your _head_. Inside your _mind_. He knew _everything_. You couldn't shut him out. Burning tears brimmed in your eyes as you felt yourself fighting a battle you were destined to lose.

"It is as I suspected. She is one of them. Return to the command shuttle."  
Your flooded mind swiftly became shrouded in darkness and then... Nothing.

 

~  
_Chaos. That was the name by which the Jedi Order called you when the three of you arrived at the first Jedi temple. While they were not visible ghosts as you had first anticipated, they communicated to you, Luke and Rey through the Force. The ability to speak telepathically had always been a great challenge for you, especially in your early days as a progressing Force user. Rey had always been a faster learner than you, but also had more experience in addition to her astonishing natural gift with the Force. However, the Jedi Order spoke to you in a way which could not be ignored. They addressed you as Chaos. Why? Were Jedi meant to be chaotic? You were troubled by the negativity that you assumed followed this name, but decided to push it aside._

 _Rey put her shoulder around you and said "We're gonna achieve wonders, you and me", enthusiasm and confidence radiating off every word. You responded with a half nervous smile, doubt snaking its way into your head. Was there something else in store for you?_  
~

 

Your mind snapped back into life as if by the click of a finger. Your whole body jolted all at once. As you regained your senses, you noticed that your surroundings had altered. The whole _environment_ was new to you. The only thing that hadn't changed was the fact that you couldn't move. All four of your limbs were clamped onto a cold metal chair, which felt more like an upwards facing stretcher. From within the shadows there he crouched: the infamous Kylo Ren. Your mind quickly reverted back to what Rey had told you of when she was captured by the First Order. That's when it dawned upon you that you were in a torture chamber. Whether or not this torture would be mental or physical, you already had a taste of the pain Ren could inflict upon your mind.

While all emotion and expression was hidden behind his mask, or by the Dark Side perhaps, it appeared as though he was studying you. Curiously, cautiously, in detail. Attempting to figure you out. Although you didn't consider yourself as anyone special, you were more complex than even you failed to realise. The two of you remained silently staring; him at you, and you at the floor. After a short while, Ren rose to his full height, once again towering over you as you continued avoid his metal gaze. Not a single inch of flesh was exposed - it felt almost inhuman to you. As if reading your mind, he removed his helmet and placed it on the floor, revealing a deep scar slashed across his face. You knew that this was the mark Rey had left him after their lightsaber duel on Starkiller Base during its demolition. You couldn't prevent yourself from staring at it - not out of shock, but for reasons you couldn't explain, you were intrigued.

"Where are Skywalker and that scavenger?" His voice was surprisingly calm for someone with a reputation of uncontrollable anger. A brief rush of fury escaped you as you retorted without hesitation, "That _scavenger_ is my friend!" You realised that this was an unwise remark if you intended on surviving, but kept a stern expression on your face despite your inner panic. Even if it meant you were to die, you would remain loyal to your friends. "A poor choice to say the least." Ren sneered. You could feel your blood boiling at this point but managed to keep your rage at bay with great difficulty. Luke had always taught Rey and you to find your inner peace, which both of you found challenging at the best of times. "You will tell me where they are, or I will just take the information from you." He raised his arm, performing the same gesture as when you first encountered each other on Ilum. The piercing pain flooded your mind for the second time as you gritted your teeth together. Ren searched through your head, ravenously seeking out the information he was after. You squeezed your eyes shut, desperately trying to regain control of your own mind. _Shut him out. Shut him out._ To your surprise, his arm retreated from your face. Confusion and frustration filled Ren's face as your mind was no longer an open book. You had dominion over your mind once more. Well, most of it.


	2. The Proposition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that your fate rests in the hands of the notorious Kylo Ren, you prepare to accept your demise. However, this is not going to go the way you think.

"You won't get what you want. If you're going to kill me, just do it already."  
Your tone was bitter as Kylo Ren placed his mask back over his head. He was unresponsive to your comment - it was as if you weren't even there. Without hesitation, Ren left the room in a swift stride, leaving just you.

 _Where the hell am I?_ You wondered in frustration. While it was impossible to tell from only being in one room (if you could call it that), you made the assumption that you were aboard a ship of sorts. The coldness of the small, metal room radiated through your skin and goosebumps were slowly beginning to form on your exposed arms.  
_What is he going to do, freeze me to death?_  
Your mind was suddenly distracted away from your surroundings as you could feel it being pulled towards something refreshingly familiar. It was your kyber crystal in your satchel! The still colourless crystal felt as though it was the source of omnipotence itself, and you felt its power flow through you like an infinite river of wonders. The Force was a strange thing, but it certainly was beautiful.

You were startled by the sudden entrance of four stormtroopers who were all equipped with blasters, presumably to execute you. Yet, your presumption was wrong. To your astonishment, they removed your restraints, only to be replaced with different ones, which in this case was the firm grip of two stormtroopers on either side of you. As they began to march out of the interrogation room with your arms in their tight grasp, one trooper took his place behind you while the other was in front.  
_I guess they know I'm Force sensitive_ , you let out a heavy sigh as you were being forcibly escorted to yet another unknown area.

After a trek that seemed to last forever down various corridors and hallways, you arrived at your destination. Another room. The stormtrooper who had been behind you pressed a button next to the door, which then shot upwards in a flash. You were then prodded irritably in the back by one of the trooper's blasters, egging you to enter the now open room. You stumbled a little as you reluctantly entered, and the door shot back down as quickly as it went up. The room was minuscule. It felt like a box; a tin. The only thing in the tin room was you - no bed, nothing.

When you were certain that you were alone, you knelt to the cold metal floor and tipped out all the contents of your satchel, which you were surprised to still have in your possession. With hopeful eyes, you stared in awe at the glowing kyber crystal which was now resting in your hands. It was magnificent.  
_If I can construct a lightsaber, maybe I can get out of this place_ , although this idea was quickly shut down as you realised that you had no idea how to build one. You frowned in defeat, feeling the shame that would likely to be bestowed upon Luke, your Jedi Master, if he could see you now. You casted your mind back to Rey. She wouldn't even have a reason to be worried about you. After all, you weren't due back for at _least_ another two days. Maybe she would never even realise you were gone.  
_No, we're best friends, of course she would notice that I'm gone._  
This was irrelevant however, because no matter how many X-Wings the Resistance sent to come and find you, it would be a wasted journey.

After a fair amount of time had passed, you were suddenly snapped back into hopeless reality when the door unexpectedly shot up. Without warning, Kylo Ren entered the undersized room. You hurriedly stood up and backed into a corner, trying to keep as much distance between the two of you as possible. He looked at you for a moment through his dark helmet which hid all emotion. Then he looked down at the small pile of lightsaber parts, and once more turned his metal gaze back at you.  
_He's probably figured out what I'm doing - he's going to kill me._  
You squeezed your eyes shut at the thought of it. At last Kylo Ren's robotic voice broke the dreaded silence.  
"There is but one way in which you will walk out of here alive. You need a teacher." Your eyes winded at the sound of his words.  
"I already have a teacher; Luke Skywalker." You retorted with the little bravery you could sum up.  
"Ah yes, the old man who spent years in exile. You must be so proud."  
You _were_ in fact proud to have him as your teacher - even if he was teaching about why the Jedi should end - his bloodline resulted in him having immense power with the Force... Ren also came from that bloodline.  
"You could become so much more" he continued, "if you were trained to your full potential. I can show you the ways of the Force."  
_Why would he want to teach me? We're meant to be enemies._  
Your options were simple: be trained by Kylo Ren or die. Yet how could you do it? How could you betray everything you've ever known? You didn't want to die.  
_Perhaps I'll have a better chance of escaping somewhen else._  
Every gut instinct was furiously pulling you against the choice that was dancing around in your head, but what good were you dead? You let out a heavy sigh and looked up at him with a hint of fury in your eyes.  
"What makes you think you can trust me?"  
"We'll have to wait and see." Ren replied.  
Through gritted teeth, you managed to thrust one sentence out of your mouth: "When do we start?"  
The game you were now playing was dangerous one. Any positive outcome seemed like a beautiful lie.  
"We are aboard a Resurgent-class Star Destroyer, which will reach a top secret base in a matter of hours. I suggest you get some rest before we arrive there."  
And with that, Kylo Ren turned on his heel and exited the room.

You fell to the floor and pressed both of your palms to your forehead.  
_What the hell am I doing? This is all so wrong._  
Fiery tears brimmed your eyes and escaped down your burning cheeks like acid. You didn't attempt to stop them. Grabbing your now empty satchel, you laid it out on the floor and substituted it for a pillow. Picking up your kyber crystal, you held it tightly against your chest as you laid down on the stone-cold floor with your head resting against your satchel. It felt like the only safety against the nightmare that was yet to come.

 

~  
_You stood boldly against the harsh storm showering upon you, despite being drenched to the core by the slashing rain. Rey was standing only a few meters away from you and appeared like a silhouette in the darkness.  
"Just come home! You're worth more than this!"_

_"We both know how this ends..."_

_Darkness. The vague images of what seemed to be an older man and a younger man with raven black hair. Everything about what you were seeing was a giant blur; it was like trying to see underwater. You could manage to hear occasional muffled voices, but what you were seeing was unclear._  
 _"Ben!"_  
"...the face of my son."  
"It's too late."  
There was only one line that echoed in your mind clearer than the rest.  
"I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain."  
The voices suddenly became increasingly harder to decipher, which followed by a haunting silence. And then...  
PSSHZZ!  
The aggressive sound of an ignited lightsaber pierced into your head like a spear doused in flames.  
~

 

  
Your breath was rapid and shaky as you awoke with a shock. Beads of sweat trailed down your fiery forehead, which felt like it had been constantly aflame. When you steadied yourself and fully snapped back to the same stinking reality, all you could feel was unexplained sorrow for the visions you had not lived.

You reverted your eyes to your kyber crystal which was somehow still clasped in your sweating, trembling hands. Parts of your hand had become red and dented from the overly tight grip on the crystal, but it was the only thing that felt safe in this world now. It gave you comfort - even if its jagged edges were slowly sinking into your palm.

The stone cold door shot up once more, causing you to jump, as you were met by four stormtroopers (probably the same ones as last time). One of them gestured for you to exit the room, of which you had been confined to for the past few hours, although it was impossible to tell how long you'd been there. You unnervingly picked up your satchel and placed your kyber crystal inside it, threw it over your shivering shoulder and followed the stormtroopers. They were in the same formation as last time: one in front, one behind, and two either side of you - having a secure hold of your arms. While you were escorted to another place unknown to you, you took the opportunity to take in your surroundings. This star destroyer was _huge.  
How could anyone ever get used to a place like this? Maybe they've lived here their entire lives._

At last you arrived at a docking bay, which was primarily filled with TIE fighters and First Order transporters. As you continued to walk on, a silvery-black shuttle, larger than the TIE fighters, stood still on the ground. It had two massive wings pointing directly upwards on either side of it, and resembled that of a grim bird of prey. To your surprise, the four stormtroopers marched you in its direction; your muscles tensed and a shiver edged its way down your spine. When you were close enough, you noticed a tall figure clad in black, who was standing beside the open ramp leading onto the ship. Your muscles now tensed horribly tight, and felt like they could crush the arms of the stormtroopers holding onto you.  
_Kylo Ren's Command Shuttle_...

You were now face to face, although it was more like face to mask. You stared at the metal floor, refusing to look at the dark stare of Ren's mask. Then at once, he spoke.  
"You are dismissed."  
The stormtroopers glanced at one another for a moment before marching off. The urge to run was unbearable, but where were you supposed to go? Not only that, but you'd seen firsthand how Ren could freeze people's movement with a single outstretched hand.  
"Come."  
Your head shot up in bewilderment. Was nobody else coming?  
_What the hell is he playing at?_  
Reluctantly, you followed him onto the shuttle. It really was just the pair of you; there wasn't even a co-pilot.  
_We'll probably die before we even get to wherever we're going._  
You slumped down where you presumed passengers were meant to sit. Ren didn't seem to tell you otherwise - he'd already taken his position as pilot. With nothing productive to do, you simply stared at the interior of the shuttle with tired, unfocused eyes. After a while, your lids closed and your head began to loll carelessly.

_PSSHZZ!_

It was the same vision as before, yet considerably more vivid. Clearer than a ever was Kylo Ren - his scarless face was tinted blood red and displayed a number of emotions, the most obvious one appearing to be fear. He was trembling slightly, with violent tears brimming in his dark eyes. It was nothing like you'd ever seen before.

_"Thank you."_

Once again you awoke with a shock. Heart pumping furiously, you attempted to maintain your breathing; the last thing you wanted was to draw attention to yourself with Ren being the only other person onboard. Tears unexpectedly streamed down your red hot cheeks - it was as though you had really been there. You felt his pain... somehow. It was impossible to know how to feel, your head felt like a whirlwind of emotions. You pulled your legs up and rested your head on your knees, shrouding your tear stained face. You just wanted this journey to be over.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waheyyyy so I’ve finally posted something on this AO3 account, woo! I’m pretty excited about this fanfic, so I hope you’ll stick with it because I fully intend to complete it. Hopefully y’all will like how it plays out, but who knows? Even I’m not entirely sure at this point, so we’ll just have to wait and see I suppose. Thanks for reading!


	3. The Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having had to accept Ren’s proposition in order to avoid death, you are now transported to the ‘Secret Base’ (if that’s what it is). What is your purpose here?

A small glint of hope told you that feeling the ground beneath your feet would make you feel better, although solid metal didn't really work. The docking bay of the base you were now on was much larger than you had expected. It never truly dawned upon you how massive in numbers the First Order really were - you had assumed that the majority had perished on Starkiller Base. You felt yourself shrink upon looking at was around you. You didn't belong here.  
Dragging you away from your stance, Kylo Ren stood before you, seemingly observing you, which appeared to be becoming more frequent. You set your gaze upon his dark helmet, raising an eyebrow slightly, waiting for something to happen.  
"Come."  
You didn't bother asking why or even where you were going - you had only the feeling of defeat linger in your tired mind. You were still unsure why you were being escorted everywhere by Ren, rather than a stormtrooper, but you couldn't bring yourself to focus on the thought for very long.

Eventually you'd reached a lift, which was fairly cylindrical and looked as though it had the radius of no more than 3 metres. You obligingly followed Ren inside, focusing more on the maze of corridors around you. After watching as you rose above countless floors for a minute or so, the pair of you exited and made your way right down yet another corridor, until Kylo Ren abruptly halted at a large metal door. Still having an unfocused mind, your reaction time was slow and your delayed reflexes only just stopped you from walking straight into the back of him. Feeling as though you were in almost a dream-like state, you shook your head slightly. Above the button which activates the door was a sign which read 'FS:C-R02'. You had no idea what it meant, or if it had any meaning at all. Nonetheless, your mind was still incapable to think about this for any amount of time.  
You followed Ren inside. To your surprise (and relief), the room was fairly large and didn't give off the impression of a prison cell. The walls, although still metal, secreted a gentle hum and the floor felt comfortingly warm.  
"These will be your living quarters. You are currently quarantined to this floor only. You will find a cafeteria on the far end of the corridor, along with a medical and training room. You will be introduced to your assistant in a few hours time, who will link you up to the facial recognition software."  
You frowned and nodded. Kylo Ren turned on his heel and left swiftly, as always. A deep sigh escaped your mouth as you walked into your new room, activating the button which closed the door.  
 _How can he act so normal about all of this?_ How could you act so normal about all of this? Your whole world had been turned upside down. You had unwillingly switched sides in a galactic war that seemed as though it would be endless. Were you one of the bad guys now? Were you doomed to become the very thing you had set out to destroy?

You decided to familiarise yourself with your surroundings. On the far right of your room was a single bed with a thick white duvet, which draped down the sides. This was partnered with an equally thick white pillow. On the opposite side of the room, an inbuilt doorway stood solitarily within the metal walls. You precariously walked over to it, tapping another activating button. You were unexpectedly met with a bathroom. The floor was white tiles rather than metal, and there was both a bath and shower - completed with a toilet, sink, towel rack, rectangular mirror and cupboard. You pressed the button once more, and the bathroom was again hidden behind the large metal door. A table and a pair of chairs stood in the middle of the room, although you were not sure what use you would have of them yet. Next to your bed was a desk, which had some sort of long metal bar placed on it. Curiously, you sat on your bed, which was comfier than you had expected, and tapped a small red button on the centre of the bar. A rectangular screen unexpectedly emerged, causing you to jump.  
 _What an idiot._  
The screen momentarily came to life, displaying the First Order symbol. The screen changed, displaying a small 'Welcome' caption as it changed once more to reveal what appeared to be the home screen. There were various widgets which you could access, although you decided you would leave this for later. You pressed the red button again, causing the screen to fade and return into the bar. You stood up and walked to the centre of the far end of your room, where you noticed another inbuilt door. You pressed the button, which caused the metal door to reveal a wardrobe. To your astonishment, your clothes hung in there, including your favourite outfit, which you liked to think of as your 'official' attire.  
 _How the hell did they get these?_  
You realised at once that the squadron of stormtroopers, presumably including Ren, must've scavenged the ship you arrived in on Ilum, as this is where you last had these clothes. Nevertheless, you were glad to have them in your possession. A small smile grew across your dry lips for the first time in what seemed like forever, as you had begun to grow accustom to the misery shrouding your mind.

You took off your withered satchel and chucked it half carelessly onto the bed and proceeded towards the door to the bathroom. You automatically pressed the button and removed your clothes, which were in dire need of a wash. You turned on the bath, which prepared itself a lot quicker than you expected. Cautiously, you dipped a foot into the steaming water. The sensation of warmth latched onto you immediately. Without a second thought, you got into the bath and rested your tired arms on either side of it, laying your head back. You closed your eyes and let out a sigh of relief; you hadn't felt this relaxed in an incredibly long time.  
After a few well-deserved minutes of rest, you reached for the nearby bottles of shampoo and conditioner, which you couldn't help but feel was strange to have on a base like the First Order, even though it was normal to actually wash your hair. Your wet hands caused one of the bottles to slip or of your grasp. As it was about to hit the floor, you instinctively reached out your hand and caught the bottle - but it wasn't in your hand. Your mouth hung open slightly as you stared, mesmerised, at what you had just done. The bottle remained floating in the air. You reached your hand out further until you had claimed the bottle securely in your grasp, opening it and squirting some shampoo onto your hand. Your facial expressions had not changed.

Once you had finished washing, you grabbed a towel and wrapped it firmly around your refreshed body. You turned and looked into the large mirror to see your reflection staring back at you. You didn't look as drowsy now. You exited the bathroom and pressed the button, which simultaneously closed the door once more. You padded over towards the wardrobe door, activated the door and pulled out your beloved outfit, along with clean underwear. Once dried, you assembled your outfit.  
You were now wearing a dark grey tank top, which clung to your figure. Black leggings covered your legs, along with mouse grey leg wraps which came up to your shins. Around your waist was a thin brown belt, similar to what Rey used to wear, which had a light grey cloth wrapped through it, hanging down at the back. Your forearms were covered with the same grey wraps that were around your legs. You thought it best to leave your armour off, in case you provoked anyone. To finish off, you put on your deep black scarf, which came with a large hood. You resented the fact that it looked undeniably similar to Ren's. You wore it nonetheless, as it was undoubtedly your favourite item.  
Your stomach let out an agitated groan, craving to be fed, and so you slipped on your black boots and left the room, feeling slightly more comfortable.

You strode down the long corridor towards the canteen, where you noticed a few stormtroopers (without their helmets) and officers having lunch like ordinary people. You couldn't understand it. You gingerly walked forward, grabbing a plate and placing it on a tray before helping yourself to the food available to you. You also grabbed a bottle of water, as you found that this was the only drink considered more normal. You sat down at an uninhabited table and began to eat your food. The taste buds on your tongue burst into life with the sudden connection to food - _good_ food. You closed your eyes for a brief moment, savouring the delicious taste which you had been neglected from for so long. It was divine.  
"You must be the newbie." an unfamiliar voice spoke to you.   
Your head shot up and felt your cheeks burn slightly. Stood before you was a tall man with dark brown hair, which was slightly tousled, and deep, emerald green eyes. A faded scar slashed near the end of his right eyebrow and ran down next to his eye. He had a small amount of stubble and had a broad grin across his face, which surprised you. He was wearing a stormtrooper outfit.  
"Don't worry, I won't bite."  
He sat opposite you with his own tray of food. You weren't sure why he had come here, or what you were supposed to say to him. You glanced at him and then at your food, munching slowly.  
"I'm FN-1605, but you can just call me Rax."  
"Is that your real name?" You questioned. "I thought stormtroopers only had their code names."  
Rax let out a small chuckle. "Yes, that's my real name. But you're right, almost all the stormtroopers just have code names."  
You stabbed at your food at twirled it around your fork. "How come you've got a real name then?"  
"Well, most of the troops have been 'programmed from birth' as General Hux likes to put it. However, I joined the stormtrooper programme as a young adult. They still gave me a code name of course, makes it easier on the data banks, but I still have an actual name."  
Rax seemed so laid-back, it was infectious. The constant torment in your mind seemed to gradually subside.  
"Their indoctrination methods haven't seemed to have taken a toll on me either," he continued, "obviously I follow orders, but at least my soul hasn't been suppressed. Captain Phasma certainly does a good job of keeping us in line, though."  
"Phasma?" You could've sworn you'd heard Finn, your other friend alongside Rey, mention her before.  
"You've heard of her? I still don't know how she escaped the collapse of Starkiller Base. There's a rumour going round that she had been stuffed into a trash compactor."  
You sniggered at Rax's words, remembering that Finn had told you this story. You missed home. You missed your friends more than anything, which had practically become your family. The brief smile upon your face turned into a frown as you looked down at the floor, wondering if you would ever see them again.  
"Is something wrong?"  
You jumped a little, forgetting, for a moment, that Rax was even there.  
"No, no, I'm fine... Thank you."  
Your words rushed out of your mouth in a rather unorganised manner, and Rax's head tilted very slightly as he watched you, obviously not believing you. Fearful that you would be forced to drag up old thoughts and memories, you hastily got out of your seat.  
"I-I should be going. I guess I'll see you around." and with that, you turn on your heel and paced your way back to your living quarters in a Kylo Ren-like manner, leaving Rax with a mildly disappointed expression.  
As soon as you had returned to room FS:C-R02, you let your body slump into a corner and you sipped the bottle of water which you'd taken back with you from the canteen. Your hands trembled precariously as you tried to stay the bottle in your grasp, fighting back the panic that was growing ominously in the back of your head. You took a deep breath and placed the half empty bottle down beside you. Your eyes stared, unfocused, up at the numerous lights on the shining metal ceiling.

Without you knowledge, an hour had passed when a knock on the door yanked you away from your trance. You hurriedly staggered to your feet as the words "C-come in!" found your throat. The large metal door shot upwards, revealing the towering Kylo Ren and a single stormtrooper.  
"This is FN-1605. He will be your assistant as of today. Before you do anything else, he will need to link you up to the facial recognition software. I will be in touch shortly." Ren disappeared in his usual manner, leaving just you and the stormtrooper.  
 _FN-1605... I could've sworn..._  
"What are the odds of meeting again so quickly, eh?"  
The trooper entered your room, the door closing behind him. He half carelessly removed his helmet, revealing none other than Rax. Your tensed muscles relaxed slightly. At least you'd already had a conversation before this meeting.  
He turned to face you, holding a tablet of sorts, which he tapped to reveal a holographic screen projected from it.   
"We'll start with your details first. Full name?"  
Your heart raced. Like Rey, you did not remember your parents. You'd only ever known your first name. With utmost reluctance, you replied with "[Name]".  
"No surname?"  
You shook your head half vigorously. Rax tapped the tablet a few times and you saw your name displayed on the hologram before your eyes. Your rapid heartbeat had not subsided.  
"Alias?"  
"What?"  
"It's like your code name. You know mine is FN-1605. It's what I'm better known as."  
You did indeed have one, although it had not been you who had chosen it. Its purpose remained unknown to you. You cleared your throat, which was rapidly feeling more like the surface of Jakku.  
"It's, uh, Chaos."  
Rax did the same as before. The name appeared at the top of what now looked like an identification card, impersonating a title.  
"Date of birth?"  
"9 ABY." You had hoped this would be the last question. To your utter relief - it was. Rax seemed to have read your mind.  
"Well I'm glad that's out of the way; now for the facial recognition. I'll need you to stand against the wall just relax your face. Look straight forward."  
You obediently followed his instructions, half glad that you would not have to make the effort of showing facial emotion. He held the tablet at about your eye level. You managed to prevent yourself from flinching when what appeared to be some sort of holographic scanner met your face. Luckily this only lasted about 10 seconds, although you could vaguely notice small coloured blotches on your eyesight.  
"All done. Your identification card is completed - the scanner will automatically fill in the extra details such as eye, hair and skin colour, even your height somehow. Anyway, you're linked up the the software now, so all you'll have to do to access somewhere, including this room, is put your face in front of a facial recognition scanner - providing you're actually _allowed_ access. Remember, you're quarantined to strictly this floor."  
"And I what floor is this, exactly?"  
"309. We're not too high up."  
 _Not too high up?? How many floors are there?_  
There was a brief silence lingering in the air before Rax spoke up again, "Any questions?"  
You stared blankly. You should have so many questions, yet your mind was empty. However, one question emerged from your lips, which you regretted almost instantly.  
"What's Kylo Ren like?"  
Rax seemed surprised at your query, but quickly adjusted himself.  
"Well..." he began, sitting on your bed, which you copied.  
"Most stormtroopers try to avoid interaction with him, mostly out of fear, I suppose. It's well known that the commander is prone to outbursts of uncontrollable anger - the technician must be going mad with all the repairs he has to make. Nobody dares say anything, of course. Ren is very secretive, so no one really knows the cause of his short temper; you should've seen the state he was in when that scavenger escaped."  
Your eye twitched slightly at his words. You hated it when people called Rey 'that scavenger', although you didn't comment on it this time. A voice of reason told you that he probably didn't know her name.  
"Aside from his unpredictable temper, the commander is very focused. His only problem is that he doesn't follow orders from higher powers, just does things his way. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure that bringing you here was his own idea. He and General Hux are constantly disagreeing, although it's only Ren who resorts to sarcasm. You should find him... interesting to work with."  
You smiled weakly, unsure as to what was going to happen next.  
"Well I think you're sorted for now. You can communicate using that bar over on your desk. I'll speak to you soon."  
Rax placed his stormtrooper helmet back over his head and made his way out of your room.  
"See you..."  
After that, you couldn't think of anything other to do than sleep. Without changing, you kicked off your boots and clambered into the soft white bed and felt as though you were floating in the clouds. Wasting no time, you dimmed the lights using the switch, which had conveniently been on the wall next to your bed. You tucked yourself in and closed your eyes, feeling yourself slowly being consumed by the soft duvet.

 

~  
 _The clouds were dark. The rain was heavy. An ominous thunderstorm loomed all around. You found yourself on a roof, situated above what appeared to be a power generator that harnessed constant lightning strikes. You were able to make out two figures - one clad from head to toe in black - the other was unclear. A lightning strike of unimaginable size struck one of the many rods surrounded on the rain-slicked generator roof. The bolt of electricity shot from one rod to another, each seemingly more powerful than the one that came before it. A blinding blue glow tinted the lightning as it shot to another rod, where you noticed the mysterious character fearlessly raise his right arm. At this point, the cyan lightning bolt had reached an unthinkable size, and shot down to meet the figure's ascended arm. Electricity instantaneously surged around his body, mostly the chest area and arms. It was now a furious purple as its power only grew. The man, who was somehow sustaining the unmeasurable lightning's strength, held out his left arm in the direction of the black figure. In blind rage, the man used the energy of the lightning in conjunction with his own powers to launch an incredibly powerful blast of Force lightning at the dark figure. The vicious purple energy continued to surge around his chest and arms, as he now aimed both arms towards his victim, harnessing all of the power both within himself and the raw lightning into his attack. His arms shook ferociously as the lightning shot out of him - it was like nothing you had ever seen._  
~

 

Your nights were not peaceful. You had visions every single time; this one was by far the most unusual. You believed them to be caused as a result of your connection to the Force, although it was unclear why you had been shown your most recent vision. While you usually awoke with a shock, breaking into a hot sweat, this time wasn't as bad as you had expected. Perhaps it was because you had not been fearful of what you had witnessed - you were simply astonished.

Rather than attempting to fall back to sleep, you decided to get out of bed. You carelessly rubbed one of sleepy eyes as an uncontainable yawn emerged from your mouth. Absentmindedly, you picked up your satchel, which had fallen off the bed during your sleep. The kyber crystal inside was just as clear and bright as before, and the urge to find a use for it was rising to its limits. The fact that you were no closer to figuring out how to construct a lightsaber was agonising.

Kylo Ren entered your room without any warning, causing your body to violently jump.  
"You could've at least knocked."  
Ren ignored your remark and, to your surprise, removed his dark helmet and sat cross-legged on the floor. He gestured for you to do the same. Reluctantly, you did as he requested. You couldn't help but eye him suspiciously. As though reading your mind, he took the hilt of his lightsaber from his belt and placed it gently in front of him. He was behaving as though it were made from fine china. You raised an eyebrow quizzically, still with the same suspicious expression evident upon your face.  
"Put the contents of your satchel out in front of you." Ren's voice was unnervingly calm, causing you to shiver slightly. Again, you did as you were told, which you were accustomed to doing when under Luke's wing. Still, you'd always resented not being able to do as you pleased, even if, admittedly, you occasionally needed reigning in. Before your eyes were various pieces of materials, scavenged in hope of one day finding use for them. You'd collected them under your Jedi Master's instructions, so you trusted that they were in fact what you needed. Amongst the materials was the kyber crystal, which was as colourless yet prominent as before. Remaining cautious of Ren's actions, you observed his facial expressions closely, ready to detect the slightest reaction. However, he kept surprising you. His face stayed neutral; almost calm. There was no anger there, no hatred, no nagging torment. Your own expression seemed (without your knowledge) to soften at witnessing this. A sense of tranquility lingered about the room as Kylo Ren closed his dark eyes, inhaling slowly as he did so. Your gaze descended to the hilt of his lightsaber, which began to gently levitate. All the parts in which made it whole momentarily separated; it felt like looking at a diagram in an instruction manual for building some complicated mechanism. Once all the pieces had spread themselves out, still levitating, a crimson kyber crystal became exposed. It was roughly the same size as yours, although there was a prominent crack running through it. After an undisturbed pause, the floating parts began to reorganise themselves to form the lightsaber hilt once more - it was astounding to watch.

There was something your brain didn't seem to register; you didn't understand. All the things you'd heard, all the rumours you'd been told... this ravenous beast, hungry for the lives of the innocent... murderous rage...  
The one who created the gun.  
The gun.  
The one who pulled the trigger.

Yet there he was.  
Peace had stretched out its arm and clung onto him with all its might.  
For a moment, it remained.  
It would not last, but in these moments it shone through.  
All else was forgotten.  
In this moment, right now, there was no hate, anger, fury, aggression.  
There was only peace.

You stared, star-struck, with your dry lips very slightly parted. There was a sensation of paralysis. What had just happened? Kylo Ren opened his deep brown eyes once more as his reassembled lightsaber sat still on the floor. They were staring into your own. You did not break the contact, suddenly feeling less apprehensive.

"Now, it is your turn."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you’re enjoying the fanfic so far! Now that you’re on the base, your new way of life will begin to progress, and we’ll be seeing more of the master of the Knights of Ren. I’m halfway through writing chapter four, although I go back to college in a few days, so updates may be slower, but I’ll do my best to keep them coming out.


	4. First Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crystal’s colour wasn’t what you were expecting. As you begin your training and increase your skills, the ominous visions that haunt your mind do too.

_My turn?_

"Wait, what? What do you mean?" you croaked.

"You're going to construct your lightsaber," he replied simply.

Your suspicious expression returned as you raised an eyebrow and said "Are you sure you trust me enough for that?"

A small smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. "While you may obtain a powerful weapon, you are not powerful enough to defeat me - not yet. I need not remind you that you are quarantined, and therefore shall have a difficult time venturing off to places forbidden to you."

Your expression subsided, leaving your face seemingly blank.

"Fine," you replied with mild defiance. "How do I do it?"

"Close your eyes," he instructed. "Take a deep breath, slowly. Feel your lungs expand and swell before releasing the air. Now, open your mind. Let go of everything: thoughts, feelings, hopes and fears, leave it all behind. Have one singular thought in your head - your crystal. Feel the Force flow through your veins and radiate your body, and feel it connect with your one thought."

_That sounds very Jedi_ , you thought.

You assumed that Ren must be observing you while this was happening, so you attempted to maintain a relaxed face, rather than scrunching your nose and furrowing your eyebrows. You inhaled another deep breath as it swelled in your chest. You could in fact feel the Force; it gave you strength.

"Focus," came Ren's voice.

The clear crystal was there in your mind, shining profoundly. You concentrated all of this new energy into it, willing the Force to work alongside you. After a few minutes, you heard a distinct clicking sound.

 

"You may open your eyes."

You felt the need to do this cautiously, almost afraid of your own creation, if that's what it was. You slowly opened your eyes, which had felt heavy for a moment, to see a hovering lightsaber hilt. It contrasted Ren's own hilt greatly, mostly because the crystal was not exposed, nor did it have the cross-guard. Instead, it was a sleek black and silver masterpiece. You couldn't help suppress an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment that was glowing within. You grabbed it from midair, perhaps too hastily, and grinned at the fact that you had succeeded. Although your attention was primarily on your new creation, you could've sworn Ren had smiled, even if it was only slight. He stood up, and so you did the same, not knowing what would happen next.

 

"Ignite your lightsaber."

You looked down at the hilt which fit perfectly in your hand, where you noticed an ignition button. Your gazed darted back up to Ren's and your eyes met once more. Although you now possessed more power, you were small again. Feeling an unexpected sense of foreboding, you pressed the button, igniting the blade. The sound was glorious - it was deep yet menacing. Protruding from the end of your hilt was a flame-orange blade, which had the strange appearance of pulsating like a laser beam. The vibrant colour shone ablaze in your eyes, feeling like embers themselves.

"A compressed crystal," Ren remarked. You pulled your attention towards him. "It is the reason for the pulsing blade. They are not usually witnessed. It is said that these blades are more precise than ordinary ones. I see the crystal has picked its owner well, considering its colour represents chaos." Your eyes widened slightly.

"That's the name the Jedi Order gave me. They had foreseen this?" you enquired, feeling lost within the questions that suddenly swarmed your overcrowded mind.

"Perhaps, although it is not certain. Things like this can be seen as destiny."

You hesitated, then spoke quietly, "Was it your destiny to become Kylo Ren?"

His dark brown eyes locked onto yours; his expression was unreadable. You quickly glanced at the floor, regretting what you'd just asked.

Catching you off-guard, Ren ignited his own lightsaber. It was incredibly different to yours, which was mostly due to the contrast in crystals. The incarnadine blade crackled like wildfire, displaying characteristics of untamed fury, which in some respects mirrored its owner. It seemed that the kyber crystals, being deeply connected to the Force, really did pick their owners.

"Attack me."

Had you just heard him right?

"What?"

Ren revolved the lightsaber in his hand effortlessly.

"Attack me."

You looked at him disbelievingly. What was his plan? Did he want to humiliate you after what you had said? Nevertheless you lunged at him, bringing your blade down in a striking motion - Ren blocked it easily with his own blade. The clash of your lightsabers made the red and orange blend in what looked like a furious fire. The powerful connection caused your hilt to vibrate and you gripped it a little tighter, even though your hands began to sweat. You broke off the lock of your two blades, taking two steps back.

"Again."

You stood firmly on the spot and tried to focus your mind. Without warning, Ren hurtled towards you aggressively. An instinctive reflex caused you to automatically raise your lightsaber and block his attack. You moved agilely with his actions, bringing yourself out of defensive position as you began to press the attack. You were relieved when Ren finally halted the training session, though it had been exhilarating. It took a couple of minutes for you to catch your breath as you withdrew your amber blade and attached the hilt to your belt.

"The Force is strong with you," Ren said.

You looked up at him as you regained your posture at last.

"Uh, thanks," you replied uncertainly.

 

It was unclear what would happen next. Usually when you had trained with Luke, he would tell you and Rey to basically go off and rest. You still remembered the first time the pair of you sat down by an open cave and watched the ocean waves ripple below the crimson sky. Since Rey had spent the majority of her life on a desert planet, she was mesmerised. You even found yourself appreciating the seascape a lot more - it was truly beautiful. Alas, this wasn't that kind of place, and Kylo Ren certainly wasn't Luke Skywalker.

 

You averted your gaze abruptly when you realised that you'd been staring at Ren intently during your thought process. The strange thing was, he'd met your gaze and held it. Although you weren't exactly focused, it wasn't a cold, aggressive stare. His dark eyes were almost... searching. Searching for what? Was he reading your mind? Could he do that without any sort of indication other than staring?

"Do you know your bloodline?" he asked suddenly.

"No," you responded automatically. "I never knew my parents. Who knows where they are now? Perhaps they thought I would be safer without them. I wish I'd been able to decide that for myself."

Now it was Ren's turn to avert his gaze. Apparently the topic of parents was hitting home. Your face hardened as a sudden rush of confidence built up inside. You looked at him dead in the eye.

"Why did you kill your father?"

Kylo Ren's dark brown eyes shot at your own, his brow furrowed almost in... horror?

"Do not ask me such questions," his profoundly cold voice spoke.

Nevertheless, you stood your ground.

"Why not? I never even got to meet my parents, and you think it's okay to murder your own father without an explanation? He wanted to bring you home to people who love and care about you! Why wouldn't you want that?"

At this point, all colour had drained from his face. He was shaking slightly.

"I had no choice," he replied stiffly, no more than a whisper.

You took a dangerous step towards him, your gaze resolutely refusing to falter.

"We always have a choice. It's between what is easy and what is right. Sometimes it’s just easier to think that we don’t. Do I have your permission to see myself to the canteen, Commander?"

Without missing a beat, Ren's lightsaber was ignited as a roar erupted from his throat. Instinctively, you grabbed and ignited your own, causing the blades to meet not too far from your face. The amber and incarnadine glows rested on your faces like war-paint as the blades remained locked: one in attack, one in defence.

"You know nothing about me!"

"Then tell me!"

Ren's anger burned away as he considered you for the briefest of moments, before his senses caught up and he realised what he was doing. He swiftly retracted his lightsaber, almost in shock of himself, grabbed his black helmet and immediately left the room. For a while you simply stood there, recounting what you had just witnessed. Noticing the hum of your pulsating lightsaber, you returned the hilt to your belt and marched towards the canteen.

 

You didn't actually know what time of day it was, but judging by people's meals, it must've been breakfast. Despite your need to come here, you suddenly weren't that hungry. However, your body had to work on something. Reluctantly, you grabbed a tray and plate and observed what was available. In the end, you settled for something savoury, which vaguely resembled that of bread, and a glass of water. You sat down at an empty table, only to be joined by a familiar face.

"Morning, Chaos," he greeted with a grin.

"Morning, Rax. Oh, and please just call me [y/n]."

Rax shrugged as he cheerily munched on some food. "Whatever you say."

_How is he always in such a good mood?_

"You gonna eat that before it grows legs and makes a run for it?" Rax teased as you stared blankly down at your plate, recounting the scene of what you had witnessed only moments ago.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm just tired."

Rax raised a curious eyebrow at you; perhaps he wasn't convinced. Either way, he didn't comment on it. You met his gaze and paused chewing your food. Then an idea popped into your head, a terrible idea, but once you'd set your mind on something, your nature turned resolute. Once the pair of you had finished eating, you spoke.

"So I was wondering, since you're my escort, if you could take me to Kylo Ren's quarters?"

Rax raised both of his eyebrows at this, before his expression quickly changed humorous.

"Why the hell would you want to go there? Also I thought you would've realised, his quarters are next to yours on the left."

It was your turn to raise your eyebrows.

"What? But whenever he visits me he leaves with such a powerful stride it's like he's about to walk to the other side of this... ship thing - not next door!"

Rax put his hands up in a gesture of surrender and grinned.

"Woah, easy there, Chaos. Sorry, couldn't help it. Well look, he is the Commander. He's not gonna be slouching around in his quarters all day watching TV, is he? He's always busy doing something - it's a surprise he's found as much time for you as he has."

You held your breath for a beat.

"Right - okay - well - are you going to escort me or can I just go?"

"It's my job. Come on."

And with that, Rax stood up, equipped his stormtrooper helmet and exited, so you followed suit.

 

Upon arriving at the row of rooms on the 309th floor, it only took a few paces down the long metallic corridor before the profound roaring of a certain Kylo Ren met your ears, along with the faint buzz of a lightsaber. Both you and Rax instinctively froze on the spot.

"Clear this floor. I'll deal with him."

The words that escaped your mouth surprised even yourself.

"Are you crazy? You've been here for, what, 2 days and you think you can deal with Kylo Ren while he's in a fit of rage?"

"It's my fault he's like this. I'll be the one to sort it. Now go get people away from here," you replied decisively.

Rax sighed through his helmet and walked in the opposite direction to you. As you began to descend the corridor, you grabbed the hilt of your lightsaber and ignited it, holding it so that the blade pointed upwards behind your arm in a reverse grip. You paused just before the door to Kylo Ren's living quarters, which was open with occasional sparks flying out of it. Taking a deep breath, you stepped into the doorway.

 

"Ren, stop!"

His head bolted around to face you as he halted his actions, crackling lightsaber held in midair. He was breathing heavily and shakily, his dark eyes full of rage and loss of control. You stepped into the room and pressed the activation button which closed the door.

"You should not be here," Ren spoke in a low, dangerous tone.

"I'm sorry for what I said, but this isn't going to solve anything. Just let me help you-"

"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!" Ren erupted as he resumed slashing his lightsaber into the nearest wall.

You glanced around and noticed that there wasn't a great deal of visible damage - whoever designed this place probably knew what Kylo Ren was like. Whatever the walls were made of, it must've been some pretty solid stuff.

"Please just... let me help you," you said quietly.

Ren's head turned once more as his dark eyes bore into your own like daggers that wielded the power to rip through your soul. He considered you for a moment, although clearly battling himself. Finally, he restored the lightsaber hilt to his belt (and you did the same), his heavy breathing slowly subsiding. You simply studied each other for a moment, before you took a cautious step forward. It was like trying to bond with a wild, carnivorous animal. Gingerly, you reached out a hand and lightly touched his temple. Ren flinched at your touch, his brow furrowing considerably as his eyes searched yours, but he did not pull away. You closed your eyes in concentration as you tried to calm his mind through your own.

 

And then you felt it. Pain. So much _pain_. The image of agony. Did he experience this all the time? Was he just good at hiding it? The image of Han Solo with a fiery crimson blade penetrating his abdomen flashed before your eyes, and with it, a sharp pain erupted in your chest. Four single words echoed in your mind:

 

_I'm being torn apart._

 

You opened your eyes to see Kylo Ren's hand encircling your wrist and slowly lowering it away from his head, refusing to break eye contact. Tears that felt like acid burning through your skin ran down your cheeks; probably an emotional transference. However, the mind meld had seemingly worked, for Ren appeared to be calmer now. It wasn't clear what he had seen in your mind, though.

"It is as I've said - you should not be here," Ren spoke quietly.

"Why did you do it?" you whispered, dismissing his comment. "If this is the torment your mind is consumed by, why did you do it?"

For a moment, Ren averted his gaze towards the floor, before meeting your eyes once more.

"Parents hold you back. You become so reliant on them, you end up searching for them everywhere. You do it, the scavenger girl does it. Cut away the past so you can become what you were meant to be,” he said emotionlessly.

"But... I can see what's truly in your heart. Among all the darkness, there's one bright spark. I can't tell what it is-"

"No. I serve the darkness and the darkness serves me. We are one in the same. I will become a Sith Lord like my grandfather," Ren bristled, his face hardening as he began to shut himself off, perhaps realising (and denying) something. He could feel it in the Force.

"Your grandfather was a Jedi before a Sith took advantage of his emotions, manipulating him and using him solely for the power he wielded! That's exactly what Snoke is doing to you, yet you are too blind to see it! Anakin Skywalker's love was consumed by the hate that Darth Sidious planted into his mind, but in the end he proved that the light always prevails the dark, and also what was truly in his heart. Yes, you are like your grandfather, Anakin Skywalker, not the monster cruelly created by the Emperor - Darth Vader. I know there is still good in you."

"You are wrong."

"Am I?

"The Supreme Leader is wise."

"Exactly! He knows how powerful you are and is using you. I know it, and your father knew it. Why do you think Snoke wanted him dead?"

"ENOUGH!"

Ren's arm shot towards you, sending a Force push, which you matched with your own instantly. The two surprisingly matched forces repelled, sending you both into opposite walls.

 

Thinking it was over was a mistake. You gathered your bearings just in time to witness Kylo Ren igniting his blood-red lightsaber, striding towards you menacingly. At this point your heart was pumping erratically with bravery, fear and adrenaline. You stood resolutely, fighting every instinct to grab your lightsaber and defend yourself. “Go ahead, strike me down. But you wanted me for something. What was it?”

Kylo Ren stopped in his tracks. He considered you for a moment, before opening his mouth-

“Supreme Leader Snoke demands your presence in the throne room, came the voice of Ren’s comm channel. Ren’s face grew visibly cold, draining of all colour.

“Do not leave this floor,” he warned as he picked up his helmet and exited.

You clenched your jaw and returned to your own quarters, then grabbed a cushion and threw it carelessly on the floor. You sat on it, crossed your legs and placed your hands on your knees, closing your eyes. Your brow was furrowed to the point where it subtly ached as you stared into the dark abyss of your own mind. Nothing. Nothing. You didn’t know what you were searching for, but this certainly didn’t feel like meditating. Without realising, your hands gripped your knees to the point where your knuckles turned deathly pale, and something began to materialise in your mind. You reached further to make out what it was, until suddenly the ignition of a lightsaber rang in your ears and a blinding blue and white light consumed your vision. A pained, desperate, broken, furious voice of a man echoed in every corner of your mind.

_You’ve taken everything from me!_

A loud, breathless gasp escaped your mouth as your eyes sprung open and your arms fell back to support your falling body.

It was the same man. There was no doubt about it. Who was he? What connected you and he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry I haven’t uploaded in months. I’m in my first year of A Levels and it’s very demanding, but I have not given up on this fanfic. I’ll try to upload as quick as I can, but you perseverance is very much appreciated xo


End file.
